Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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