i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
