she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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