yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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