the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
