I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
