dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
