i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
