what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
