Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Let's get the cat blown out
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
