we're chasing vodka with high fives
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
