we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
