There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
This baby is an asshole
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
