Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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