I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
