dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
