How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
