Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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