Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
