I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
she pinky promised me she was 18
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You ruined the universe
Randomize
