well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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