bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
