Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
