I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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