STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
