whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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