So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
