Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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