Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
