That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
