I don't think brook has ever known best
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
