i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
