she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
