I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
