have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i dont even know how to be here
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
