9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
