I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
