My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
