I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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