I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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