What a fucking waste of an outfit
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
