Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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