North Korea, Best Korea!
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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