drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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