I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
