so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
