Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
