the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
