I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
