I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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