Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I need moral support for this bender
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
