Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
